With Mixed Feelings...

Tomorrow is January 2nd.  Sierra and I go back to school.  Both in the same building she as a student...me as a Teaching Assistant.  The same as before......but not really.  It is not the same...and probably never will be "the same" again.  On December 14th in Newtown CT the unimaginable happened. Evil descended on Sandy Hook Elementary School.  We all watched and cried....we all sobbed along with the families that had lost so much.  We returned to school the following Monday and had a safety committee meeting.  I am a member.  We have been working on ways to improve safety in the building for awhile now..but the reality of Newtown...was too real to ignore.  We tightened up security even more...made plans for more drills, more checks and balances, more ways to keep the kids safe.  The district even had patrol cars at the schools in the morning and afternoons.  The week went on.  We began to relax.... a little...not with security but with our minds and our bodies.  The kids began to get excited about the upcoming holiday.  Classrooms were filled with decorations, gifts for parents were being lovingly made, music was in the air.   And then the letter came. ... on Friday....Dec. 21...to our school.  Threatening.....not nice ....911 was called.  Police responded....the school was in lock out...no one allowed in.    Our afternoon, all school holiday sing a long ...canceled.  The children had no idea.  They happily exited the building at the end of the day oblivious to the fact that some sicko just had to go and write that stupid letter.  Probably just for laughs.  But I am not laughing, and the staff is not laughing and parents are certainly not laughing.  School...the place where your child spends most of their day.   A safe place.......but not really....anymore. We have met over winter break to tighten up security even more.  We will have police presence in our building.....for awhile.  We pray that the police can find out who sent the letter......and that will help.  But the truth is....the unthinkable has happened.....and every threat now ...must be taken seriously.  I am glad I work in the same building as Sierra.  I can't imagine how hard it will be for some parents to even send their kids tomorrow....and I don't blame them if they don't.  I am anxious for tomorrow to be over.  To have the first day back under our belts.  To know that we can do this...that we can move forward despite what is happening around us. Oh how the world has changed.....God please help us to  understand.