Wednesday, February 16, 2011


So I have been back to work now for abuot 10 days.  The first week back we had 2 snow days and a 2 hour delay  so I was able to ease back in.  Oh yeah  On the first FULL day back I got a call from Sierra's preschool that I had to come and get her.  Seems she had a reaction to something and broke out in hives.  I picked her up and dropped her off with Dad and he took her to the doctors while I went back to work.
It is very hard for me.
I want to be home doing fun stuff with Sierra.  I don't want to  leave her 8 hours a day. I want to feel her hadn in mine.  I want to skip down the sidewalk.  I want to stop at our favorite bagel place and visit with whoever stops in ( they close at 3:00:)  I don't want to leave her at her school all day.  So my mind isn't where it should be.  Add to that ....our school district is in dire straits and have to cut 5 million dollars from the budget.  And although they are "No proposed administrative cuts at theis time"  there are MANY other drastic cuts.  At least 22 Teaching Assistants will be eliminated..  If I do keep my job I will probably be moved to another school.  They may close an elementary school so I don't even know where Sierra will be.  Although we thought she would be attending kindergarten in the school that I work in...that is probably not going to happen.  There is alot of stress at work.  People are afraid.  I am an employee, a taxpayer and a parent.  Each decision the district makes effects me in different ways.  For me , there is no right answer.

Sierra ,I thought, was doing OK.  The school has a before and after school program ( school runs from 9-2).  She seems happy and is not cranky in the evening. I received a note from her teacher.  Sierra is acting out to get attention.  Small things like banging on the table...even when asked to stop.  And she smirked when told to go to time out.  Not what I needed to hear.  It is not OK but it is what I was afraid of..
We talked and I hope tomorrow will be a better day for her. I can't wait until Friday.  I so love the weekends!!!!


  1. Oh Kathie,

    It's Friday! I'm just now reading your post and my heart is so heavy for you. I've been there. Being a working mom is so hard, especially when your heart is with your child.

    I hope your week got better. I'll be praying that everything falls in place for the right job for you that is close to Sierra. And I will pray that Sierra adjusts better to being in school the full day.

    Much love sent your way!


  2. Wow has it really been two years already? It is so hard going back to work. I was miserable when I had to go back after my oldest was a few months old. Just stay focused on summer coming soon! Things will smooth out, but that doesn't really soothe a Mama's heart much does it? Enjoy the weekend!

  3. Oh Kathie, I am so sorry for your added stress and sadness right now. I really do feel for you and for Sierra. I wish you had another option. I will be praying for you and Sierra.
    - Charissa

  4. This is hard to read. It makes my heart hurt thinking of how you are missing your time home with Sierra. I will be praying for you to have peace and a way to make this work for you both. Summer will be here soon and that will be a good time to break up the schedule again for awhile. Prayers!

  5. Kathie - I'm with you here. Easing back into work since Emma's adoption just a few months before Sierra's. The behavior's are different - but the sad look on her face when I say I won't be the one to get her ready for school or take her speech therapy today or be there when she gets home. Seems like she never got to be a baby - feels like life is pushing her to grow up and that we should really have a few more years to cuddle and cook together, even if she is almost 11...

    No words of wisdom - but you are not alone.