Adjusting...

So I have been back to work now for abuot 10 days.  The first week back we had 2 snow days and a 2 hour delay  so I was able to ease back in.  Oh yeah  On the first FULL day back I got a call from Sierra's preschool that I had to come and get her.  Seems she had a reaction to something and broke out in hives.  I picked her up and dropped her off with Dad and he took her to the doctors while I went back to work.
It is very hard for me.
I want to be home doing fun stuff with Sierra.  I don't want to  leave her 8 hours a day. I want to feel her hadn in mine.  I want to skip down the sidewalk.  I want to stop at our favorite bagel place and visit with whoever stops in ( they close at 3:00:)  I don't want to leave her at her school all day.  So my mind isn't where it should be.  Add to that ....our school district is in dire straits and have to cut 5 million dollars from the budget.  And although they are "No proposed administrative cuts at theis time"  there are MANY other drastic cuts.  At least 22 Teaching Assistants will be eliminated..  If I do keep my job I will probably be moved to another school.  They may close an elementary school so I don't even know where Sierra will be.  Although we thought she would be attending kindergarten in the school that I work in...that is probably not going to happen.  There is alot of stress at work.  People are afraid.  I am an employee, a taxpayer and a parent.  Each decision the district makes effects me in different ways.  For me , there is no right answer.

Sierra ,I thought, was doing OK.  The school has a before and after school program ( school runs from 9-2).  She seems happy and is not cranky in the evening. But...today I received a note from her teacher.  Sierra is acting out to get attention.  Small things like banging on the table...even when asked to stop.  And she smirked when told to go to time out.  Not what I needed to hear.  It is not OK but it is what I was afraid of..
We talked and I hope tomorrow will be a better day for her. I can't wait until Friday.  I so love the weekends!!!!

My Leave is Up!!

I know I have been blessed.  I know that not everyone can take a 2 year leave and have their job back.  I know that in September Sierra will start kindergarten, hopefully in the same school that I work.  I know that Scott has so lovingly taken on his shoulders the finacial burden of the last 2 years.  I know Sierra will be fine at her preschool, after all my middle son Paul started kindergarten when he was not yet 5.  I know it all ......but oh I hate to have to go back to work tomorrow as a teaching assistant and spend a good chunk of the day away from her..  My heart truly aches.  I was supposed to go  back Monday but I had to attend Jeff's Celebration of Life.  And then Tues. and today were snow days...so tomorrow it is.  I look forward to seeing some of my colleagues and most of the kids.  Its hard to believe that the kids that were in kindergarten when I left , are now in second grade!!  And I don't know hardly any of the kindergarteners and first graders.  So it will be fun getting to know them...and the class that I will be working in.  So keep me in your thoughts tomorrow!! I will need the support!