Giving Thanks!

Hi All,
It's been such a long time since I have posted...I miss writing long posts...but fb makes it too easy to stay in touch.  But today I have so much to say...my heart is sooo full with all that has blessed my life.
Today ...and every day ...I am thankful :

For God my Father, thanks goes to Him for all that is good! He has abundantly blessed me and my family this year and always.

For my husband....who is the best partner I could ever imagine.  His desire to make me happy even in the smallest of ways, is so apparent to me.  His love for his family and their well being is always his top priority.

For my children.... Who have given me an abundance of joy...
My Paul and Jenn, and Tim and Sara, and David.  ....They love their family and give back to their community.  They appreciate the gift of life and adore their sister.  And soon.... very soon... one will become a Dad!!
My daughter Sierra...who fills my days with wonder, questions, beautiful artwork, and laughter!

For my siblings......don't ever underestimate the importance of brothers and sisters in your life.  Whether you are 10 or 54....they will be the ones who always have your backs!  ( love you Dave (and Alison) and Beth!)

For extended family....we are so blessed to have the most amazing extended family..my family Scott's family...their families...it goes on and on..love the fact that so many are near by...hate the fact that so many are far away!

For my friends....old friends ....new friends.... friends who have moved away.....old, newly found friends...long distance friends. friends I work with...friends around the corner!.I am thankful for you all..

For our health.......as I get older I so do not take good good health for granted...I have seen way too much.  I am grateful for each and every healthy  day I have!  My prayers go out to all my friends and family who are struggling with health issues...you are in my thoughts!

For my grandbabies...yes  TWO (twin girls) ...  who will be arriving in February via my son Paul and his wife Jenn!!  I can not even express the joy that I feel...longing to hold them in my arms and smell their sweet baby smell!!

For my job...I am loving my work this year as I work with a wonderful teacher and 17 precious kindergartners.  I love the younger kids...they are so REAL!  The days are flying by...a sure sign that I am happy at work!!

And for all the rest...the roof over my head, the food on our table, the doctors who heal us, the servicemen who defend us, the beauty of every single day, the ability to face adversity with Faith and Grace, and the chance to continue to grow,to continue to  learn and to change!!

And I wish for all of you...the same...today and always!  Happy Thanksgiving and God Bless You all!!

 Peaches that grew on our peach tree this year...such an example of God's beauty!

Cicada hunt....

We had been hearing and reading about it for months.  "This year is it!!  The cicadas are coming!!  Seventeen years have past.They will be everywhere.  Your yard will  be  crawling with them!! etc. and etc" Truthfully...I was not that excited about it.  I am not a big bug fan.  Actually I have always said that I would not want to live in Florida...because there are more bugs AND they are much bigger.  So the thought of thousands of cicadas descending on my yard did not make me happy.  Actually I was a tiny bit creeped out about it.  As the temperatures warmed I wondered if the ground had yet reached 64 degrees...the magical temperature....when the cicadas would crawl up through the dirt and into our lives.  I waited...and waited.. Then I learned...they were ...not here in my backyard but "here' as in pretty close.  Scott and I went to the Drs. one day and stopped at a nursery nearby.   I heard what I thought was an alarm going off in the distance...but Scott turned to me and said  "Do you hear them......the cicadas?"  So I waited some more.  A friend of mine, who lives not too far away, posted photos and videos of the cicadas that had overtaken her yard...hundreds climbing on anything over a foot high.  I knew they would soon be here.  And even though I was still a little bothered by the thought..I realized that Sierra was anxiously awaiting their arrival.  She was soaking up any information she heard and told me she really couldn't wait to see if they really  had red eyes.   I knew they were close by but I didn't want to ruin Sierra's surprise when she woke up one morning to the sound of hundreds of cicadas out her window.  So it was somewhat surprising to me when a friend asked me the other day whether or not I had taken Sierra to New Paltz to hear or see the cicadas.  "No I replied...I am waiting for them to come here."  "Kathie" she said,  I don't think they are coming.  They are close by but not right here."  Oh..........and I have to admit.....I felt a tiny bit disappointed.  I mean.... even though I was a little bit nervous...an act of nature that only occurs every 17 years is something to behold.  And it never occurred me that we wouldn't be experiencing it in our very own backyard.  Sooo...... tonight at dinner I got to thinking about the rest of the evening..rainy....maybe a little "boring".  Suddenly I got an idea!!!  Sierra and I would go cicada hunting.  We would drive the 10 or 15 miles to the nearby town that I knew had cicadas.  Her brothers had played a softball game there last night and the bugs were flying all over the place.  I was afraid to wait.. what if we missed it!  How foolish would that be??  So we jumped in the car...in the pouring rain and drove ten miles down the road..  The first couple of places we stopped...nothing...no sound except the rain...no visible bugs.  We drove a few more miles up the road and stopped in a pull off.  I got out and spotted something I knew Sierra would love...especially since it was dead and she could bring it home.  I called her out of the car and she spotted a big, winged cicada with bright red eyes.  She picked it up and put it in the baggy we had brought and then found another one..  A little farther up the road we found dozens of wings...the perfect thing to view under her microscope.  Her "Oh Mom this is an awesome adventure made it all, the rain the mud, the coldness, worthwhile!!" I am sorry I waited a little too long...I am sorry we didn't get to experience this wonder of nature  in our own backyard.  I am sorry that we will have to wait another 17 years to see it again...but I am not sorry that I got to spend an awesome evening with an awesome girl who is the perfect partner for any adventure!!

A Mother's Day to remember!!!

I am so lucky to have my sons close by.  David still lives home and the other two boys each live close by.  They stop by often...but I always love it when they come over on Mother's Day!  Today was no exception.  It was beautiful out...blue sky, warm temperatures and a nice breeze perfect for sitting out on the deck.  So we visited...it was so nice.  Here is a picture of me and my boys ( actually men!!!!) taken at the fire company dinner a few weeks back.  Tim, me, David and Paul.  I am sooo proud of them and the men they have become!

After they left we went to visit Sierra's Mimi.  Since both her Grandma's are in heaven Sierra has a special lady who fills in!  She is amazing and we love her so much!

Next, Sierra wanted to go to the Reservoir.  There is a huge man made lake only about 10 minutes away.  The backdrop to this Reservoir is the Catskill Mountains.  It is breathtakingly beautiful. The road over the dam is closed to vehicles but you can walk and bike ride,  Its probably 3 miles across.  Today the weather was perfect.  Scott and I walked and Sierra rode her bike...it was her first ride of the year!

After Scott took this wonderful photo of us...I was going to take one of Sierra and him.  I had the camera in my hand when I noticed this bird gliding in the breeze.  As it got closer I had a feeling I knew what it was  so I just started shooting.  

When it got directly over my head we could clearly see its white head and tail feathers.  Scott also noticed the fish in its talons.  It was incredible.  Bald eagles are slowly coming back to this area.  

It was  beautiful!

So I agree with Sierra...the whole day got a thumbs up!  I am so blessed to be the Mother of these children.  Thank you God for entrusting me with their care!

Happy 7th Birthday Sierra!!!

Its had to believe our daughter is 7!!  It seems like just yesterday we met the most precious, beautiful 3 year old. But it was 4 years ago on a  January day in 2009.  She entered our hearts then and became ours in every sense of the word.  I can not imagine my life without her.  Its hard to remember life before her.  She has brought so much joy to our family that it's difficult to even express. Her 3 brothers adore her and she thinks the world of them. When people used to ask me why I would want to start all over again at age 50..I told them that as far as I was concern I could never tire of parenting and having children in the house AND I wanted my husband to be a father.  He is amazing.  The bond he and Sierra share is special.  But it was to my side of the bed she walked the other night when she felt like she was going to throw up  "Why? "  I asked her.  She replied  " because Daddy doesn't do well with throw up and I know you don't mind it."  Love that girl!!!  Happy Birthday Sierra!!  I wish for you joy, and abundant blessings.  I know you don't like growing up and getting older but I for one can not wait to see what God has in store for you!!    I will be eternally grateful for being the one chosen to be your forever  Mommy!!
Love you to the moon and back!!!

Pray, please, for Ivy Joy!!!

She is critical.  She needs our prayers.  Her family needs our prayers!!

http://sammonsfamily7.blogspot.com/2013/01/ivy-joy-is-going-to-boston.html

With Mixed Feelings...

Tomorrow is January 2nd.  Sierra and I go back to school.  Both in the same building she as a student...me as a Teaching Assistant.  The same as before......but not really.  It is not the same...and probably never will be "the same" again.  On December 14th in Newtown CT the unimaginable happened. Evil descended on Sandy Hook Elementary School.  We all watched and cried....we all sobbed along with the families that had lost so much.  We returned to school the following Monday and had a safety committee meeting.  I am a member.  We have been working on ways to improve safety in the building for awhile now..but the reality of Newtown...was too real to ignore.  We tightened up security even more...made plans for more drills, more checks and balances, more ways to keep the kids safe.  The district even had patrol cars at the schools in the morning and afternoons.  The week went on.  We began to relax.... a little...not with security but with our minds and our bodies.  The kids began to get excited about the upcoming holiday.  Classrooms were filled with decorations, gifts for parents were being lovingly made, music was in the air.   And then the letter came. ... on Friday....Dec. 21...to our school.  Threatening.....not nice ....911 was called.  Police responded....the school was in lock out...no one allowed in.    Our afternoon, all school holiday sing a long ...canceled.  The children had no idea.  They happily exited the building at the end of the day oblivious to the fact that some sicko just had to go and write that stupid letter.  Probably just for laughs.  But I am not laughing, and the staff is not laughing and parents are certainly not laughing.  School...the place where your child spends most of their day.   A safe place.......but not really....anymore. We have met over winter break to tighten up security even more.  We will have police presence in our building.....for awhile.  We pray that the police can find out who sent the letter......and that will help.  But the truth is....the unthinkable has happened.....and every threat now ...must be taken seriously.  I am glad I work in the same building as Sierra.  I can't imagine how hard it will be for some parents to even send their kids tomorrow....and I don't blame them if they don't.  I am anxious for tomorrow to be over.  To have the first day back under our belts.  To know that we can do this...that we can move forward despite what is happening around us. Oh how the world has changed.....God please help us to  understand.

Dear Sierra..

Dear Sierra,
Today is Election Day 2012.  Not a day I have been looking forward to.  I hate politics.  I hate all the name calling and people bashing and all the lies and promises and the gloating and it all.  I hate it.  But I do love the fact that as a country WE get to pick who our leaders are.  Now it is complicated beacuse the person who wins the popular vote..who gets the MOST votes..may not be the winner... but that is another story.

Tonight at dinner you asked me who I voted for.   I wasn't sure I would tell you..its private I said...people don't have to share...and then I told you anyway.  You asked me why I voted for Mitt Romney and I said because of you.  You looked at me questioningly and I  said I would explain it some day.   I mean how  do you explain abortion to a six year old....

You see Sierra..it was a difficult year for me this year.  I don't fall into one political party or another.  I maybe should...but I don't.  I feel strongly about many issues but they don't fall into one party's agenda or another.  Its hard.....  But this year  I voted in honor of you Sierra...in honor of you and Grace and Izzy and Ivy Joy  and Julia  and Brianna and Mary Elizabeth and all the children we know who joined their families through adoption.  Seven and half years a go Sierra, your birth mother in China found out she was carrying a baby. She chose to carry you for nine months    and then brought you somewhere where you would be found.  Some of the birth Moms may have full intended too keep their babies, some may not have...but they chose to give you life.  Some people may say they had no choice...maybe there was no place to get an abortion...maybe they couldn't afford it.  Exactly my point....they carried you and you were born.  A beautiful, smart, joyful, little girl who will grow up and do great things some day.When I think of what the alternative could have been been...I cry.  You are here because for some reason..abortion was not a choice.  I don't think it  should be.  I don't want ANY of my hard earned money going to fund anyone's abortion,   From the time a child is conceived it is a growing living thing  whose life should be valued not extinguished.  You will here a lot of talk about a women's right...but I care about the unborn babies right...I believe they have a right to be born...its what God believes too.  I am a woman and I am against abortion.

So Sierra...you helped me .  You are a constant reminder to me to value life.  Mitt Romney is against abortion and although he stands for some things I don't agree with, it is enough for me.  I pray for our country as it is so divided.  I pray that we can come together , put aside our differences, work together to become the great nation we should be.  But this year Sierra, I chose life...because of you...
I love you baby girl...to the moon and back...
Mom

Today is the Day

Today is the day.. Please keep sweet Ivy and her entire family in your prayers as she undergoes a huge operation that can fix her beautiful but broken heart!!



http://sammonsfamily7.blogspot.com/

Ivy Joy

Please pray for Ivy Joy!!!

http://sammonsfamily7.blogspot.com/

Gifts from God

A few weeks ago Sierra's older brothers came across tow monarch caterpillars while at work. They brought them to her and we have watched them incredibly go through their change.  This was the end result!


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A Special Picnic at Minnewaska

Today, Sierra and I finished camp around 12 noon.  I was trying to figure out what to do for the rest of the day.  It was gorgeous, the kind of summer day I love.  The sky was blue, the grass was green, there was a breeze and the temperature was in the high 70s.  No way I wanted to go home and clean, or do anything in the house!!  We live in an area called the Rondout Valley.  We are nestled between two mountain ranges.  Close by are two mountains, each have beautiful lakes.  When they boys were younger I used to wait for a summer day like this and take them hiking on one of the mountains.  It was always one of my favorite days.  We used to watch the hawks when we were on top of the mountain. They would fly out and glide down below us.  Anyway...I digress!!!  Since it was already after noon time I decided we would go on a special picnic.  One of the mountains has a road you can drive up right to the lake.  There are plenty of hiking trails once you get up there.  Since I didn't have a lot of time...that is the option I chose.  We stopped and got some lunch and then drove to the mountain.Sierra hadn't been there before.  We parked the car and walked up the path.  I told her to run ahead to see what she could see.  When she saw the lake she simply squealed in delight.  " Mommy..its the most beautiful lake!!"  We found a rock and had our lunch.  She just kept saying how much she loved nature and we were really in nature now!!  After lunch we walked around a little.  The mountain is a state park and they even have a swimming area.  It was the perfect thing to do on a perfect day!

 No matter where we are Sierra always spots the new moon.  Do you see it??

Three and a half years later...

I remember when my boys were babies.......I remember their little arms reaching back out to me when someone else was holding them...and they had had enough...and wanted me back.  I remember when they fell as toddlers, again they ran over to me, crying and wanting me to pick them up to kiss away their boo boos, and wipe away their tears.  They came to me and I took care of what ever their needs. It came naturally...for them and for me.
When you adopt a child at the age of three, it is not the same.  The first time Sierra fell and got hurt, she lay there, not  crying, not moving, NOT reaching out to me.  She really didn't want me to pick her up, but I did anyway/. That incident was over three years ago.  Since then we have spent   much time teaching Sierra what the role of parents are.  She didn't know....there had been no one for the first three years of her life that was there for her.  We knew we had made great progress, we knew she loved us and trusted that we would be there for her.  But still, the other night, an incident brought home to us, how far she has come.  We were at a friends house for a graduation party.Sierra was playing with a group of children.  We were near by but not in sight.  All of a sudden she came tearing around the house, crying.  She was looking and looking, amongst the  many people there, for me.  She found me and I picked her up and held her close.  She had gotten hurt, she had fallen and hit her ear.  I brought her in the house and Scott followed us.  We put ice on it and with in 5 minutes she was good to go!!  She ran back out to rejoin her friends.  I started to get teary eyed.  I looked at Scott and I knew he knew what I was going to say.  "Do you realize that it was  the only time that I can remember that she has run to me when she has gotten hurt?"   I could tell , even in her frenzied state, that she was looking for us.  Not just anyone...us!   Three and a half years.......she is finally....really....truly......home!!!

I'm baaaackkkkk...

I so miss writing here.  I really love writing...I always have...almost as much as I love talking!  LOL  I love being able to post pictures as I love taking p hots too.  And blogging is really a way to do both.  But it takes time...and our days are so full.
  There is a  very sad update to Spencer's story.  About three weeks ago...his  Dad committed suicide.  He also had battled alcoholism and had been doing great.  But Spencer's death ( also by suicide )  caused him more pain then he could handle.  Please keep Spencer's mother and younger brother in your prayers.  I can not even begin to imagine.....
The boys have been busy working.  ALl three of them work together for the dame lawn maintenance
company.  The other day I looked out the window at school and saw them mowing the cemetery across the road.  I love seeing them together!  AND I am so glad their job provides them with health insurance.  It sure puts my mind at ease.  They are good men and I am proud of them. I find it hard to believe that David will be 21 in a few weeks...How has the time gone so fast...but of course Tim will be 29 in Oct. and Paul is married!!

Here we all are on Memorial Day!

Sierra is doing well.  She had blossomed in kindergarten and has become quite the reader.  We take turns reading to each other now at night and i love it.  She is so enthusiastic about it.  She is so stinin smart  its hard to stay one step ahead of her.  Yesterday I asked her what she wanted for breakfast ...she replied" an egg"  I said what kind and she said  " a chicken egg!!!  Too funny...right!  She is a handful at times...still has a mind of her own...is still having some problems with boundaries and doing what she wants even if she has been told no.  But she has come a far way and she is such a delight!!  But we are working hard on behavior and focusing!!!  I am diligent as a parent.  I have been having such a hard time lately seeing the parenting, or better yet, lack of parenting, that is occurring.  I will be posting about it soon.  It really has me worried....

Next Friday brings the end of the school year.  We will be leaving on Saturday for our first camping trip.  The following week I start( July 1) summer camp.  I am thinking that this may be my last year....after almost 25 years of doing camp  I think it is time to pass it on...Time for some new blood!!!

I will be posting again soon...some photos showing what we have been doing!!!  if you stop by please read a comment so I know you have!!!

Happy Birthday Scott!!

Happy Birthday to the best guy ever.  I am so lucky to be his wife.  He is so good to me and he works so hard for our family and he is an awesome Dad.  I knew he would be(:  He shows his love in so many ways from putting got my pills for me each morning, to making me a cup of tea at night.  I know that his family is always his first priority and whatever we need, he provides.  I only hope he knows how much we love him!!  Happy Birthday Babe...make it a great one!

Update on Ivy Joy!!

She is doing wonderfully!!  It has  been simply amazing watching the transformation of this  beautiful little girl.  To God be the Glory!!  This is what prayers, adoption, love and a family can accomplish!!

Check this out!!!

"Heart" felt prayers please

I have been following three blogs of little girls from China with serious heart disease.  Annie,
 here  has been a bloggy friend for a few years.  Her daughter Katie Grace has been discharged today  PTL!!!  While following their blog I found a link to another precious girl Ivy.  I was awed by this little girl, her family, and their Faith.  Please pray for sweet Ivy as she recovers from her very serious operation.  And remember , in China, she was deemed unadoptable and inoperable here
 And another sweet girl is waiting for a heart transplant.  here Rachel also was brought home from China, her new family not knowing if her broken heart could be fixed!  All three Moms have written wonderful posts abut what is really important this weekend.  Please stop by all three places( you will be glad you did ) and keep all three families in your prayers!!  I absolutely can not write a better Easter post!!

I have wanted to post but I wanted as  many people as possible to read about Spencer and the important message his Mom wanted to share.  So...if you have not done so...please read the post below!!!!
We have been busy here.  I haven't posted this but we are moving...less than a mile down the road...into the house that Scott grew up in.  It will be a good move for us, but there is a lot to do before that happens.  There is 40 years of stuff in the house we are moving into  and about 10 years of stuff in our house we are moving out of.  It makes for a lot of stuff.  But its good timing as I have been wanting to get rid of more stuff in our lives.  The things and junk we really don't need.  We are doing some remodeling in the "new" house...the kitchen, turning the garage into a den/guest room, making the laundry room a little larger and adding a mud room.  We are in no hurry ( at least that is what Scott keeps saying) so we are taking our time.  The kitchen is done as of this week when they put the counter tops on!!  I will hate leaving behind so many precious memories and things like the bluestone walkway and wall my son David made for me when he was 16.  I cry every time I  look at it.  But we will make new memories and Scott is so excited to be back at the house!


Our dear friends Jill and Steve moved to Maine in December.  They have 3 wonderful children.  Izzy, their youngest was adopted from China in 2010.  We have missed them terribly.  But...they came for a visit in March AND last weekend e took a long weekend and went to visit them.  It was awesome.  I love Maine...I always feel like i am going back home when I visit...although I have never lived there.  If I could retire and have a place there I would be sooo happy!!  We love spending time with this family and had so much fun!!

We have been on spring break.  I have really loved the weather...cool and sunny.  Ticks are a problem this year. I found one crawling on Sierra the other day and then found one embedded in my neck the next.  Many around here have been diagnosed with Lyme disease and I am on a preventive dose of antibiotics.  as I won't give up waling we must be more diligent in checking each other!!
david has been busy going to college at the community college three days a week and then working the other two.  He loves to keep busy though and that is a good thing!!


We are looking forward to two camping trips this summer.  Gas is so expensive and since we are pulling the camper...we will only be going about two hours away....once to Pennsylvania and once to Corinth NY.  But we love both places and Sierra and I will be kayaking on the lakes!!


Sierra is loving kindergarten and is a sponge for learning.  Thank goodness for the internet as I can not always answer all of her many, MANY questions!!  She is a blessing to our family and also to all who meet her.  Just the other day I was telling her we needed to go through her toys and weed out what she doesn't need.  I told her we were having a yard sale and she could sell her toys and keep the money for something special  She said. "No Mommy, I want to send the money to China so they can build a hospital where kids can go and not have to pay.  We have been following  some blogs of newly adopted children from China who have undergone serious heart surgeries.  I was so proud of her!!


I hope to be a better blogger.  I get so caught u pin reading others.  If you stop by to visit please leave a comment.  I'd love to know who you are!!

Please, PLEASE read!!

Spencer was 21.  He had played on my son's Little League team years ago and more recently on his football team.  Ironically I ran in to him while he was home for Christmas break.  He was full of excitement about  college, becoming a doctor and his upcoming internship.  I smiled as he walked away and thought...good...Spencer is doing great!
Then last week we heard the horrible news that Spencer had taken his own life.  Anytime I hear of a suicide..I wonder... why?? what happened...what were they thinking?  My son David kept asking me if I had heard anything...his 20 year old mind trying to come to terms with it all.  And then...in yesterday's paper...his mothers words...Spencer's story.  It needs to be told...people need to hear it.  If you have teenagers or college students..read it. If you work with children..read it.  If  you are a parent ..read it.  Spencer's Mom's bravery during this painful time is admirable.  Here is what she wrote:




Spencer- The Details: My beautiful son, Spencer , took his own life in his fraternity room at Penn State, State College, Pa. early in the morning of Friday, Feb. 17, 2012. He was 21 years old. Spencer is survived by his brother, Taylor, his mother Celia, his father Herbert, and his grandmother, Genie .  Friends and relatives may visit at the funeral home from 2 to 4 p.m.; a Celebration of Life Service will begin there at 4 p.m. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Spencer's name to www.benspeaks.org, an organization founded by my in-laws to help prevent teen suicide. The Story: Spencer loved to be always moving. As a baby, he could be held close only in sleep. As soon as he could stand, he was jumping. As soon as he could walk, he was running. Once, when we were in New York City's Central Park, we came upon a ring of people listening to the haunting Peruvian flutes. Spencer, who was two, ran into the empty space and began to dance. He turned round and round, he jumped, he rolled on the ground and came up waving his arms. Spencer loved to dance and later even studied dance in New Paltz. But he gave up dance for baseball, the more manly sport. Later it was lacrosse and football. Spencer, like all boys in our society, began looking for ways to be a man - as if being himself were not enough. I remember the rage and frustration he felt in Little League when he struck out; the unbearable self-hatred. My unending gratitude to Frank C, a coach who saw something special in Spencer and helped Spencer develop what he could be good at - his speed. Spencer was always fast. It seems early on Spencer felt he was not good enough. I don't know why, but I do know it is something many young people feel today. How much teen and youth suicide do we have to endure? In 2007, suicide was the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24. There is despair among the young of our society that springs from a misapprehension of what it means to be human. Every human needs to feel special, to feel that he or she belongs as a valued member, to feel appreciated and honored by others. But so many of us don't. In our huge anonymous schools and conformist youth culture, in our adult world of fame and wealth, social climbing and cool, competition and winning seem to be the only means of finding what we need. We have lost our way. Love and tolerance is the way - the antithesis of teenage culture. As adults, we preach love and tolerance at school, then fail to lead by example. In business, in sports, in entertainment, in personal relationships and in the media ... how often do adults place people before profit, a helping hand before blame, caring ahead of winning, others ahead of self? Spencer's true nature was one of extreme sensitivity. He was easily and deeply wounded; he cried when others were cruel. When Spencer was in sixth grade, he told me he thought he should see a doctor because at times, "water" came out of his eyes. Of course, he was not crying; that was not manly. But Spencer was very smart, resourceful, ambitious and determined. As he grew, he built a new and tougher personality: a personality of cool, of fun, of hard work and goals. He built stubborn walls to protect that fragile self. He constructed a defensive, brittle confidence. He made friends; he gave parties; he got drunk; he achieved Eagle Scout; he drove fast. What Spencer really wanted, more than anything else, was closeness. He wanted to be a doctor so he could help others; he was an EMT. How ironic; how typical: His own walls and drive to be the best kept him apart from the closeness he craved. Ever determined, he worked hard on understanding what he was doing wrong, how he could be a better person, a better friend. And I think he was really beginning to get it. Drinking sabotaged all that: seductive, deadly alcohol. The drug that brings down the walls and helps us feel close - as long as we're drunk. The drug that circles back and rakes out your heart. The afternoon before Spencer died, he called me between classes. He was thrilled and excited about a lecture he'd just heard about nanotechnology and medicine. "This is the future," he said. "This is what's going to pull our country out of recession." Spencer had just won an internship for the summer. He was planning on applying to a med school that emphasized the special relationship between doctor and patient. He was excited about his future. That night, Spencer got very, very drunk. Binge drinking at college has been a regular thing since freshman year. Why didn't he get the proper help? Thursday night was one of those binge nights at the frat. He had a fight with his best friend. He said he was going to kill himself. He locked his door and did it. He did not leave a note. He did not look for help. Alcohol brought down those prefabricated walls, and all that was left was thoughtless pain. It was stupid and impulsive and he would not have done this thing if he had not been drunk. Spencer had plans and goals and family that loved him. He knew this. We talked about it -Spencer said he would never do such a thing. But he did. Because of alcohol. The drunken impulse in a moment of despair that can never be taken back. Kids drink this way because they need to escape their own false personalities. They strive to be the best, to be cool, to be popular and successful. Underneath, it's all about the same old human needs: to feel valued, to feel important and special, to belong, to be loved. Lectures and platitudes to the young will never change their society. We must all be the agents of change. Our society, as it gets bigger and more global, must evolve just as our species has evolved. Each of us, at work in the office, at home, in the post office, at the grocery store and in the government, must honor and value each person we encounter. How would your day be if, instead of trying to be right, you were trying to help? In the media, we must pay homage to the ordinary hero: not the superstar, but the man who goes to work and loves his kids, the person of integrity who has the courage of his convictions. The culture of children in huge schools should not be left to run amok with misguided values, churning out young men and women who believe that social status is the measure of their worth. It is more than destructive; it is brutal, a de-evolution of humanity. Now Spencer, finally, is at rest, and I hold him close within me. Please hold him close, as I do, in your mind and your spirit. Remember the meaning of this tragedy. If a young man or woman says maybe I'll kill myself, tell someone. Don't leave him alone. If a young man or woman drinks too much, say something. It's not a game; it's a symptom. And let us find and encourage within ourselves, within our society, those gifts that make each of us special: not star power, not intellectual prowess, but the ineffable mystery and extraordinary beauty of the simple human heart.

Love Black and White Photos!

I downloaded a free trial of Lightroom.  I have loved playing with it and downloading some free presets.  I think I may have to purchase it!!!  This is my favorite!

Some more catching up!!!

Right after New Years Day begins a very joyous time for our family.  On January 8th 2009 my husband, my 17 year old son (at the time), and I, embarked on our journey to China. Every year we remember the trip of our lifetimes, the one that led us to our daughter.  On Jan. 12th the 4 of us celebrate that wonderful day when we first met.  This year we went to Engs ( a local Chinese Restaurant).  Shortly after is Sierra's birthday which happens to be the day we left China and arrived home.  It is the day the rest of the family welcomed home Sierra.  This year as an added bonus Sierra's birthday was also Chinese New Year!!!  Since we have a celebration every year for Chinese New Year...we combined the party and had a CNY and Sierra's 6th ( still can't believe she is 6!!!) birthday.  It was fabulous and everyone had a great time.  Oh and it was football play off time and two of my sons had their teams playing. Here are some pi ctures of our celebraion!!!

                                       Sierra playing the harmonica that my brother gave her!

A very special  panda umbrella!

Love it...all of us together!

                        Sierra getting ready to lead all the kindergartners in the school CNY parade!!